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Barney tricked his mean ol' dad<br />And locked him in the cellar, |
Barney tricked his mean ol' dad<br />And locked him in the cellar, |
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| − | His mom never found out where he'd gone<br />'Cause Barney didn't tell her |
+ | His mom never found out where he'd gone<br />'Cause Barney didn't tell her. |
There his dad spent his life,<br />Eating mice and gruel. |
There his dad spent his life,<br />Eating mice and gruel. |
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<p style="text-align: right">Featured 12/27/87.</p> |
<p style="text-align: right">Featured 12/27/87.</p> |
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===The UFO=== |
===The UFO=== |
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| − | While lying on my back to make an angel in the snow<br />I saw a greenish craft appear! A giant UFO! |
+ | While lying on my back to make an angel in the snow,<br />I saw a greenish craft appear! A giant UFO! |
A strange, unearthly hum it made! It hovered overhead!<br />And aliens were moving 'round in view ports glowing red! |
A strange, unearthly hum it made! It hovered overhead!<br />And aliens were moving 'round in view ports glowing red! |
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Revision as of 17:47, 7 March 2013
Original works of poetry, credited to author Bill Watterson are featured in Calvin and Hobbes. They have appeared in both types of syndicated strips, as well as in the original content of the book collections. Oftentimes, they are illustrated.
The poems are here featured in chronological order. Unnamed poems are titled after their first known verse.
Syndicated poems
The Dad Who Lived to Regret Being Mean to His Kid
Barney's dad was really bad,
So Barney hatched a plan.
When his dad said "Eat your peas!"
Barney shouted "No!" and ran.
Barney tricked his mean ol' dad
And locked him in the cellar,
His mom never found out where he'd gone
'Cause Barney didn't tell her.
There his dad spent his life,
Eating mice and gruel.
With every bite for fifty years
He was sorry he'd been cruel.
THE END
Featured 12/27/87.
The UFO
While lying on my back to make an angel in the snow,
I saw a greenish craft appear! A giant UFO!
A strange, unearthly hum it made! It hovered overhead!
And aliens were moving 'round in view ports glowing red!
I tried to run for cover, but a hook that they had low'r'd
Snagged me by my overcoat and hoisted me aboard!
Even then, I tried to fight, and though they numbered many,
I poked them in their compound eyes and pulled on their antennae!
It was no use! They dragged me to a platform, tied me up,
And wired to my cranium a fiendish suction cup!
They turned it on and current coursed across my cerebellum,
Coaxing from my brain tissue the things I wouldn't tell 'em!
All the math I ever learned, the numbers and equations,
Were mechanic'ly removed in this brain-draining operation!
My escape was an adventure. (I won't tell you what I did.)
Suffice to say, I cannot add, so ask some other kid.
Featured 11/19/89.