G.R.O.S.S.

A meeting of G.R.O.S.S. convenes

G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy girlS) is an exclusive club created by Calvin and Hobbes, with the primary purpose of excluding girls. Susie Derkins is frequently the target of the club's activities.

Members

There are many positions in the club, but thus far there are only two members, Calvin and Hobbes. During meetings, they spontaneously switch positions to meet the club's needs. Calvin is the founder and leader of the club, with the official title of "dictator-for-life", while Hobbes is the club president, and second-in-command ("first tiger"). They frequently act as if there were many other members, usually cheering for them. Hobbes, however, likes Susie and on at least two occasions, Hobbes suggested that Susie Derkins be allowed to join. Needless to say, Calvin vehemently disagreed with this.

Sometimes, they pretend to be different people. In one stripe, Calvin was a [{Strike Force Commander]], and Hobbes was a Cartographer

Meetings

At the beginning of each meeting, the last meeting's minutes are read aloud by Hobbes. These minutes are usually filled with name-calling and fighting. The reading of the minutes sometimes leads to even more fighting, until the meeting is over, and both Calvin and Hobbes are satisfied with the "progress" made. Calvin and Hobbes usually get "medals" (often bottlecaps) after they get in trouble.

Location

Originally, Calvin and Hobbes planned to have their clubhouse in the garage, but after the catastrophe of "moving" the car out of the garage (which ended with the car rolling into a ravine), it was decided to have the clubhouse in Calvin's tree fort. In one comic, Calvin and Hobbes had an emergency meeting in the "Box of Secrecy," a cardboard box, because Susie had to stay at Calvin's home for an afternoon, much to Calvin's dismay. This was also the last known G.R.O.S.S. meeting.

The Club Anthem

G.R.O.S.S. has an anthem, which starts with its refrain. The refrain starts as "Oh, G.R.O.S.S., best club in the cosmos..." The rest of the refrain (or any other part of the anthem, for that matter) is unknown. It is sung at the end of meetings (singing it before it is scheduled is a punishable offense), and all members present must remove their hats while singing the refrain. Failure to do so is also a punishable offence.

Use in story arcs

• The first story arc G.R.O.S.S. was involved in was when the two wanted to have their club headquartered in the garage. They pushed the car out of the garage, but it rolled down the driveway into the ravine across the street.
• In another, Calvin throws mushy apples at Susie after she hears the two arguing in the tree fort.
• Calvin planned an "ingenious" strategy of throwing water balloons at Susie if she read a code deliberately dropped in front of her saying she would ruin all of their "secret plans" if she went behind his house at noon. However, the plan backfired and Calvin ended up being sprayed with a hose by Susie. Calvin gave a speech after that.
• In another, Calvin finds Susie's doll on the side walk. He and Hobbes take it and held it for ransom. But, Susie tricks them by putting an envelope by a tree, and Calvin and Hobbes think its the hundred dollars and go to it. But then, Susie toke Hobbes, and Calvin gave back Susie's doll for Hobbes.
• In the last G.R.O.S.S story arc Susie stays at Calvin's house because her Mom was working late. There plan was to lock Susie in the closet by placing a tape recording of Calvin calling for help in the closet to trick Susie to enter. It worked until Mom heard Susie asking her to open the door! Calvin gets in trouble for that after Susie leaves. This was the time the Box of Secrecy was used.