From the outside, Calvin's school is colored a varying shade of purple. It has no known floors apart from the ground level. Although the configuration of the entrance varies beween being raised and being on ground level in the strip, it always seems to provide access to the main hallway. The hallway projects left and right from the entrance; on its walls hang the students' lockers and at least one water fountain and clock. It is lit by neon arrays on the ceiling. The hallway is flanked by the classrooms, Principal Spittle's office and presumably various other facilities, including the staff room (or teachers' lounge), the school counselor's office and the bathrooms. Underneath the windows of the classrooms are thick decorative bushes. The school features an auditorium that was used to perform the school play; it is most likely on the right arm of the hallway. There is also a cafeteria (though it may have also been combined with the auditorium, like some real-life elementary and middle schools) and a gymnasium (often where Moe tortures Calvin in gym class.)
The recess court is accessed from a double door at the end of the hallway's left arm. The court contains swings, a set of two see-saws, a slide and monkey bars. The flagpole may or may not be placed in the court; otherwise it could be on the roof. Past a fence, the recess court expands into the back fields, which contain at least one baseball diamond.
Calvin's school is used to stage many running gags. These include:
- Moe's constant bullying, such as extortion or simply wanton pain-dealing.
- Calvin asking Susie for test answers. Susie inevitably gives Calvin a preposterous answer, which he always believes.
- Calvin's outlandish oral reports.
- Calvin missing the bell.
- Lunch with Susie.
- Calvin's belief that the staff are aliens in search of human slaves.
- Calvin spacing out into a dinosaur-themed or Spaceman Spiff fantasy.