Calvin's snowmen

"First she says go out. Now she says come in."

--Calvin, after making a snow sculpture of a snowman bowling with another snowman's head

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Calvin, presenting his latest unconventional creation to Hobbes.

Calvin, like most other children his age, enjoys making snowmen during the winter. Unlike most other children, though, Calvin's snowmen are almost never regular snowmen; this distancing is often used by Bill Watterson in order to criticize the art scene.

The following is a list of relevant snowmen or sets of snowmen built by Calvin, in order of appearance.

Gigantic Snowman

This gigantic snowman, meant to attract tourists, was never completed; Hobbes refused to carry out the project after getting an idea of its scope (The snowman's toes were to be as tall as Hobbes).

Automobile accident snowmen

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A set of four snowmen: one of them trisected by the family car, the rest gaping in horror. The panel featured on the right is frequently mistaken to be a single strip, when it is in fact part of a Sunday comic.

Effigies

Effigies of people Calvin hates; the idea is that when the effigies melt, Calvin will be able to watch their disfigurement and final demise. The people he particularly hates are represented by smaller snowmen which will melt faster.

Tiny snowmen

Many times, Calvin is seen building snowmen only a few inches tall. The first time the tiny snowmen were seen, he crushed them all while pretending to be a T-rex. Calvin builds these tiny snowmen in order to feel big; one time, when he realized how much taller than him his parents were, he built a snowman and called him "shrimp".

Two-headed snowman

An unconventional snowman with two heads built next to the sidewalk by Calvin. Both heads had their mouths agape in stupidity.

Snowman House of Horror

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A set of five horribly injured snowmen. One of them had been chopped in half with a sled driven by a baby snowman, one more had a tree growing through his stomach, another had three eyes and two noses, yet another was holding its head in its arms and a final one was almost buried.

Transplant Patient

The transplant patient was a fairly generic snowman lying on his back with a saw halfway through his head. Calvin claimed this was to perform brain surgery.

Snow Art

A series of three snowmen altogether, each of which had its own distinct artistic implications. The first was designed to express deeper truths about the human nature and go beyond morphological accuracy. When this first piece melted, Calvin built another, which was about transience and so took advantage of its likehood of melting. However, a passerby mocked Calvin for building a snowman on a warm day. The last artful snowman was an abstract creation, a stocky mound about Calvin's size with ear-like protrusions and a circular cavity going through it.

Mocking Snowman

A snowman that Calvin built out of spite when his father made him play outside instead of watching television indoors. The ill-intentioned creation looked at Calvin's dad through the window with a mocking grimace.

Snowmen that slowed traffic down

It is unknown how many of these Calvin made, but three distinct sets are shown. The first features a cannon perforating a snowman's chest, the second a contented-looking snowman burying another alive, and the third a snowman lynching himself. Calvin's father believes the snowmen are responsible for slowing down traffic.

Deranged mutant killer monster snow goons

This series began as an attempt by Calvin to bestow life on a snowman by invoking the "great and terrible snow demons." The attempt goes horribly wrong and instead of the snowman slave or he set out to create, the result was a growling, lurching monstrosity which Calvin described to Hobbes as a "deranged mutant killer monster snow goon" which went on to create others of its kind; at least one had two heads. Calvin and Hobbes finally killed them by spraying them with the hose while they were sleeping around his house. He also makes a sign sometime later saying that a lot of snowmen were frozen on this spot. These snowmen serve as the main adversaries of the title storyline for Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons.

The phrase was used as the basis of the title of the Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons compilation.

Snow snake

A very large snakelike snow sculpture. Calvin placed himself inside its "mouth", and when Susie approached, pretended the snake was alive and dangerous. Its purpose is similar to that of the Man-Eating Snowman.

Snowman Protest

A set of six protesting snowmen wielding picket signs, on which could be made out:

• Too Strict
• Calvin's Dad Unfair
• Later Bedtimes Fewer Baths
• Egad! Bad Dad!
• More Freedom
• Homework No!

Snow Dinosaur

A long half-pipe that traced an outline when seen from the air. The outline was that of a theropod dinosaur, and was traced around Calvin's house in a manner that made as if the dinosaur was about to eat the house.

Spirit of the New Year

In the foreground of this set was an inspirational snowman meant to represent the spirit of the New Year - with one hand on his forehead as if staring into the distance, and leaning forward into it. Calvin cited that he "strides forward with confidence... Calling forth the best qualities of human drive and ingenuity." In the background, however, other snowmen were either laughing at the inspiring sculpture, arguing, or lounged lazily against a trees

Note: Image has been altered to remove irrelevant panels.

Man-eating snowman

A huge snowman with a big mouth. Calvin placed himself in its mouth to create the impression he was being eaten alive. Upon noticing the snowman, Susie commented on low real estate activity in the neighborhood.

The hill snowman

A giant snowman peeking over the edge of a hill. Only the top of the head and "fingers" grasping the hill were built, but from the right angle it appeared to be an entire snowman. It could be a reference to the "Kilroy was here" graffiti phenomenon from the 1980's.

Soldier Snowmen

A line of at least six snowmen perofrming a crisp military salute. Calvin built them next to the walkway so as to salute his father when he returns from work.

Bourgeois Buffoon

A strange, artfully themed snowmen that Calvin intended to make many of. However, he moved on to other projects when his mother refused his grant application.

Avant Garde Snowman

A normal-looking snowman that Calvin claimed to be an avant-garde work of art.

Snowhead for Susie

Not exactly a snowman but still relevant, this was the disembodied head of a snowman that Calvin had left on Susie's doorstep.

Easter Island heads

Calvin made several large snowmen heads that resembled Easter Island statues. When his dad came along, Calvin said, "What's wrong with Easter Island? I like Easter Island!"

Anatomically correct snowman

After seeing Susie make a snowwoman, Calvin made a snowman with all parts of the body, but his mom stopped him, saying, "I don't care! We're not having an anatomically correct snowman in our front yard!", which referred to indecency on the snowman after it being "anatomically correct". Another possibility may have been from the position of the characters was that Calvin wanted to model a snowman after his mom, and she did not wish to pose outdoors in the snow, given that she was shivering and wished to go indoors.

Sick Snowmen

As Calvin's dad is arriving home from work one day, he notices several snowmen in the front yard who are posed either clutching their stomachs or vomiting, evidenced by the piles of snow in front of them. He goes inside and asks Calvin's mom "Eggplant casserole tonight?" To which She responds, "Why, yes."

Bathtub Snowman

To avoid bathing, Calvin constructed a snowman that looked like him in his bathtub and sneaked out. Unfortunately, his Mom found it and shouted, "Nice Try!"

The Spirit of Compromise

Calvin and Hobbes once tried to make a sculpture called "The Spirit of Compromise", which showed two snowmen setling their differences. It was supposed to be two snowmen shaking hands. Hobbes made one, and Calvin made the other, but Calvin made his snowman's arm too short, which started a big fight. When it finally ended, Hobbes remarked, "I don't think this sculpture is very good." Calvin replied, "It's a compromise."

Snowmen Prophets of Doom

Calvin once made snowmen, and gave them signs: "Repent sinners", "The end is near", and "Spring is coming!" It shows that spring is near, and it also shows the snowmen melting. Upon seeing this, his mother quips,"You certainly take the pleasure out of waiting for the daffodils."

Suicidal snowman

Calvin once made a snowman with a hot water bottle on its head. He later told Hobbes the snowman was committing suicide.

Snowmonster

On one occasion Calvin made a giant snow squid eating snowmen and other snowmen running away causing his father to say " I don't think the school assigns enough homework."

Snowman Crossing

In one strip, Calvin built numerous snowmen crossing the road, complete with a nearby "Snowman Crossing" sign. This blocked his dad's car from crossing the road, prompting him to yell, "Calvin, I'm late for work!"

Snow sharks

Calvin once made a snowman swimming in the snow, while being chased by snow sharks, which is just the dorsal fin of a shark. Calvin says, "That guy's a goner."

Nude Descending A Staircase

Calvin builds a snowman on a snow set of stairs and tells Hobbes the artwork is called, "Nude Descending A Staircase." This is a reference to an earlier strip where Calvin got out of the bathtub and yelled to his mom, "Hey, look at me! 'Nude Descending a Staircase!'"

Snow Dog

A dog that Calvin crafted out of snow. He placed it up against a hydrant, to his parents' dismay.

Bowling Snowmen

Calvin builds a snowman playing ten-pin bowling with a snowman head and a headless snowman next to it, but is unfortunately and unsurprisingly called in by his mother. Calvin responds by telling Hobbes, "First she says go out, now she says come in!"

Generic snowmen

In the interest of commercialism (and perhaps due to a lack of ideas), Calvin has built a few run-of-the mill, conventional snowmen.

Ice cream snowmen

One of two snowmen was enjoying a snow cone, while the other had been stabbed with the ice cream scoop. Calvin refers to it as a "sordid story"

Glasses Snowman

In one strip, Calvin's dad loses his glasses. As he wanders around the house looking for them, he recites everything he's done recently in hopes of reminding himself when and where he took them off. As he gets to "..I told Calvin to shovel the walk... Where could they be?" we see the outside of the house, where there is a snowman Dad (wearing the glasses) yelling while holding a whip over a snowman Calvin, who looks very unhappy and is holding a snow shovel.